It’s been HOW long?

So my last post was aptly titled, “I’ve Been Away.” I’ve been away again, but I definitely don’t want to make a habit of it.

This summer, I did some of the most awesomely fun things ever. My friends Lauri and Charlie and I visited our university town of Falmouth, Cornwall. I was busy with multiple trips to Paris and London and the U.S. to see family. My two sisters and I were in the same place at the same time, which is rare these days and always over way too fast. I met my new niece for the first time. Then more trips, my first Star Trek convention, in London (at which I met the entire cast of TNG except for Jonathan Frakes and Wil Wheaton, who didn’t attend, sadly… but it was AMAZING), some friends’ wedding in Lyon, France, and just lots of incredible busy-ness! (Did I mention I met Brent Spiner on both sides of the Atlantic? Data = <3).

But unfortunately, the health problems I was struggling with in my last post are still present. And I’m angry at myself for allowing it to put a damper on everything that happened over the past 8 months.

I just had my 2nd gastroscopy, this time to biopsy my esophagus. I’m awaiting those results, but the scope itself showed that my esophagus and stomach looked to be in perfect working condition. The endoscopist said, “You’ve got a stomach to be proud of!”

All of which is lovely, except it doesn’t explain my mystery swallowing problem. When I eat most foods, it feels like they’re sitting somewhere between the back of my throat and the entrance to my stomach. And no tests or x-rays have been able to show any problems. It might be easy to dismiss this as a mental problem except that I did have gastritis, which has been treated with PPIs that I’m still taking, and the acid reflux it’s caused has been known to also cause swallowing problems. It’s just that no doctor has been able to TELL me, “Yes, this is what’s going on. Do this, and you’ll get better.”

So for now, I’m still taking the PPIs, hoping they’re doing something, and await a specialist appointment in December (that was made in July and can’t be bumped any sooner).

I know this is not a serious issue, and the doctors have assured me of this as well. But to me, it’s serious, because it’s affected my quality of life. It’s made me miserable to be around, and made me miserable, period. I want to eat like I used to. I’d LOVE a glass of red wine. I’d love to just eat like normal and not think twice, “Is this going to feel stuck in my esophagus and make me panic?” Though I remind myself over and over, this isn’t major. Some people have REAL issues. This is not one of them.

And, I have faith. The only real comfort I’ve had has been God getting me through this. I might feel at the end of my rope some days, but I’m back to writing regularly, and exercise.

Which brings me to today’s point. (Yes, I have a point!) — (1) NaNoWriMo, and (2) the gym.

(1) I’m doing NaNo this year! Let’s be buddies! I’ve prepared nothing and have only the beginning of a draft I liked, that had no idea where it was headed, so I’ll work on that.

(2) GYM. Here’s where we throw down. I’ve been trying all sorts of things to overcome the anxiety that’s accompanied this mysterious dysphagia. A lot of it’s been helpful, to a point. I’ve been a runner for years (not a GOOD one, but a runner who does 10ks and is pleased with coming in under an hour. That kind of runner), but since our current neighbourhood isn’t conducive to refreshing jogs, I joined a gym. And it’s time I really use it.

I’ve never done this sort of thing before, but I’m posting it publicly so that, even if no one reads this, I’ll still feel compelled to stick it out. For ONE WEEK, I commit to getting up at 7 on weekdays, going to the gym, and starting my day with a workout behind me. Some people do this without thinking twice. I’d like to just do it, for once 🙂 Beginning next Monday, 3 November.

If you want growth, you gotta get out of your comfort zone, right?

No matter how rainy, no matter how tired, no matter how cold and lazy. I’m going to do it. And we’ll see what all the fuss is about after a week. If I feel better, I’ll try to keep it up. If not, then I’ll go back to once or twice a week whenever I can fit it in.

Until next time, here are some gratuitous photos of the past 4 months (the fun stuff, not the not-fun stuff):

Brent Spiner RocCon 2 - Version 2
Brent Spiner at RocCon in Rochester, NY

 

Gates, Marina & Denise DST3 - 19
The lovely ladies of Star Trek: TNG – Marina Sirtis, Gates McFadden, and Denise Crosby

 

John De Lancie DST3 - 16
John de Lancie. I love Q.

 

TNG Bridge Crew DST3 - 134 - Version 2
ENGAGE!

 

LeVar, Brent & Michael DST3 - 32
The handsome fellas: LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn, and Brent Spiner (again!)

 

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Amazing weather in Paris.

 

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My favourite spot on earth (Allegany State Park, NY)

 

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Another Allegany shot

 

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Lyon, France — hot in October!

 

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Finally – FRONT ROW for Phantom in London. I was SO FREAKING HAPPY.

 

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Our hotel room view. Amazing.

 

 

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Cakes and champagne in Falmouth. As one does. (Thanks, Lauri!)

 

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Stopped for the view on my favourite run, in Falmouth.

I’m grateful to God that I’ve had the opportunity to do all these amazing things and visit these beautiful, breathtaking places. I just need to learn to stop focusing on my feelings, and focus on what’s real, and the other people around me. And in that department, I need all the help I can get.

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10 thoughts on “It’s been HOW long?

  1. Sorry to hear about all the bad stuff! Sounds like you’ve had some fun things going on, and hopefully things will start looking up! I added you as a NaNo buddy, seeing as I signed up last-minute – I’m excited! ^_^

    1. The good stuff has been so amazing (and been a LOT of planning) that I really cannot complain. I’m sure this too shall pass. I’m just having to learn patience, among other things! Yay! Thanks for adding me, Emma! I just signed up tonight as well. WOOO!

  2. Meeting the TNG cast!! How fun!! ^_^
    Sorry you’re still having issues. I hope everything gets resolved soon and they can figure out what’s going on there!

    See you around the NaNo field. 🙂 Best of luck with your goals!

    1. It was one of the most fun things I’ve ever done 🙂

      And thanks. I think the health issues have been–if nothing else–about me learning a few lessons that I’ve somehow avoided my entire life. It’s been good, despite how miserable it’s been 😉 And yay! See you around for NaNo!

  3. So good to see you come back! I’ve missed you!!! Sorry to hear about your issues. And just because someone else may be worse off than you, you are dealing with what you are dealing with and that doesn’t make it any less of an issue. I do pray for you. I was hoping it would have been better by now. I still send you my prayers. <3

    Jamie Dement (LadyJai)
    Caring for My Veteran

    1. Thanks, Jamie! Missed you too! And thank you for saying that… as I said to Jodi, I get more annoyed by the fact that I let these things upset me, or scare me, or infuriate me, and let it put a damper on all the blessings. Your prayers are so appreciated, praying for you, too! <3

  4. Even with your recent health issues, your life seems so glamorous to me Cheyenne! I’m sorry about the trouble you are having eating food–that sounds truly frightening. But I’m glad you’ve been able to still enjoy life in these last few months. And the Star Trek Convention looks amazing!

    1. Thanks, Jodi! Yes, I’m TOTALLY blessed by and grateful for all the amazing adventures we had this year. I’m trying to not let the memory of the hard times overshadow the memory of the good times, and regardless of when I’m totally healed of this issue, I’m already saying God’s gotten me through it. It’s just annoying that I’m not super-human enough to not complain about how scary and uncomfortable it’s been. I think that bit bugs me the most!

      And yes, the con was the best thing eva 🙂

  5. I hope your results come out okay! I read this earlier because I’m subscribed to you but I only dropped by to say your post inspired me to join a gym today! It’s only three major blocks from my house so I really have no excuse. I plan to try it five days a week, on my way back from work because I’m usually lazy leaving my house, so I better do it on my way back to the house.

    Hope you keep up with it! Best wishes!

    1. WooHOO!!! Congrats on joining the gym! That’s fantastic, and it’s perfect when it’s so close. I think if it’s more than 10 minutes away, it just defeats the purpose and makes it REALLY hard to motivate yourself. You go, girl!! 🙂

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