So I didn’t blog at all in November, but I did a lot of writing. I completed NaNo (woohoo!!) but only just. Two weeks in the middle of the month were incredibly busy despite still not having a job. Three friends from university and I had been planning for months to meet up in London in a flat we rented for three nights. Three of us hadn’t seen in each other since graduation in June 2010, and I’d seen one of them a few times, so it was fantastic to catch up, see the sights, walk the too-early Christmas German markets and the Christmas fair in Hyde Park. We had a blast! Unfortunately, I knew I’d get no writing done in those three days, but I managed to catch up in the last three days of the month.
And the most awesome part of NaNo this year? I think it could easily be a GREAT novel. I actually feel really good about the ideas that are starting to flow, and I’m finding the more I write, the more I flow. Duh! Sounds simple, but sometimes it’s so much harder to START than it is to keep going. Starting truly is the hardest part, because your brain has time to find excuses. But I truly believe what I recently (re)-read: “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”
I find plenty of excuses because I think that looking for full-time employment and not finding it for so long can lead to procrastination like you’d never believe. When you’re in a job, you try to cram so much more into your spare time. Or, I imagine, when you know you’re free to write full-time from home, then you just get down to it. But when, like me, you’re currently stuck in the position of needing an income and struggling to even get an interview, you’re then feeling guilty about writing, replying to emails, following writing blogs and social media, or doing ANYTHING apart from job hunting. It’s an awful cycle, but I am confident I’ll escape it soon, one way or another.
And the long-expected (reason to) party? The first weekend in December, my partner and I had planned to drive down to Cornwall for two nights just for a pre-Christmas weekend away from the madness. We visited Falmouth, where I lived for three years and went to uni, and we were blessed with an awesome sunny day.
We spent the day walking up and down the high street with me snapping photos of everything that brought back good memories, ran into some friends, and got excited to plan a springtime visit back to Cornwall to do some proper coastal walks.
But the most EXCITING news came the night before; we went to the Eden Project which I’d been to once, years ago, but this time it was after dark (2-for-1!) and at Christmas time, so there was an ice skating rink (again, 2-for-1!) and Christmas lights, and it was much emptier than I expected so it felt like a nice, quiet evening to ourselves. Inside the Rainforest biome, my partner got down on one knee and proposed to me with the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen. 🙂 It was the happiest moment of my life for sure, and I am so thankful my life brought me through all the twisty paths it has to get me to that moment, with that person. He’s made me happier than I ever imagined. Things do work out, and things happen for a reason.
So it’s already been the best Christmas ever 🙂 Lots of planning ahead for 2012, but most important is a job for me. I keep fantasising an agent will come along and see my brilliance (haha) and I’ll be able to write full-time from home (or really, HAVE to write full-time from home) to fulfill my giant book deal 😉 But I’m looking every day, in the hopes I find something that will use my degree and skills and be interesting to boot. Persistence, eh?
So I learned, or was reminded, this November, that if you really, REALLY want something, you’ll find a way. It’s been a slow lesson, but over the last 18 months since graduation, the thing I keep coming back to is writing. It’s what I want more than *anything* for my path in life, and I am willing to work hard at it, though sometimes it can be really difficult. I got fantastic feedback from being part of Authoress‘s Baker’s Dozen contest, and I’m going to keep on truckin’. I found excuses as to why I didn’t want to do A, B, or C like other people I graduated with are doing, but writing has been in my heart since I was old enough to listen to stories that were read to me. So my 2012 New Year’s Resolution (starting now, because it’s never too early) is to have confidence in myself, not take “no” for an answer, and just work, work, work so I can be proud and see results. No more excuses!! That’s my 2012 mantra.